near to the brokenhearted

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

Years 16 – 24 were some of the darkest, yet most beautiful years of my life so far.  During that time, because of an illness, I reached the end of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally.  On the outside all seemed well, I had friends, attended and graduated from college, started a career, and got married, but on the inside I was completely coming undone.  It was so bad, I even began to pray that I would die.

Here is a poem I wrote in my journal during those years,

Sometimes – there exists an inconsolable ache in my bleeding heart.  In my bleeding heart the ache begs for healing.  It longs, it yearns to be healed from within.  Loneliness.  Darkness.  Isolating and engulfing me.  Yet in spite of the closing darkness, one small light remains…  The light of my salvation glows surely in the distance.  The dim rays of hope bring tidings of healing to come.

I was just thinking earlier today how close the Lord was to me during those years as I was driven to him in desperation.  How precious and sweet he was to me as I clung to him for dear life.  And though I am beyond thankful he brought me through that excruciating trial, as I’ve been completely healed, I’m also thankful that he used my brokenness to draw me closer to himself.  I’m not sure where I would be today otherwise.  I’m afraid pride and self-assurance would  have led me far from the pierced hands and feet of my savior.

Some of the sweetest and most precious times with the Lord, for a believer, often come in the midst of excruciating circumstances, ones that beat us to the ground leaving us nowhere else to turn.  In our brokenness we crawl helplessly to the one who can heal our broken bodies and souls.  We’re desperate and weak, unable to give anything, yet unlike fickle humanity, he is there and he cares.

These midnight hours of our existence can become the brightest, as the Light of the World draws near to hold us close and comfort us.  To tell us that all things work together for our good.  That no good or evil deed goes unseen.  That we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear.  We are blind, weak, and helpless, recognizing no way out of the misery we are in.  Yet, the lullaby of the Creator of the universe calms our soul, and though we experience excruciating pain, we are at peace because the Lord is near.

If you are in a dark place in your life today, please leave a message, we would love to pray for you.  May you too find comfort in knowing that “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted!”