We are in the midst of the Covid-19 stay-at-home order. The world is experiencing this event together. Churches have been unable to safely gather for worship for several weeks now.
So what are we to do? How do we worship effectively when we can’t gather with other saints?
We do what the people of God have historically done, both in times of hardship and in times of blessing. We worship as families. In the English speaking Protestant tradition, this is called “Family Worship”. That’s an older term that is no longer in use in most Evangelical circles. Perhaps the term “family devotions” may be used, but that’s not exactly the same thing. The term Family Worship implies more.
The Puritans used three related terms: corporate worship, family worship, and private worship.
Corporate Worship is the Worship of God’s people gathered in a particular church on the Lord’s Day. This worship is regulated by scripture and includes the Word preached, prayers, songs of worship, the fellowship of the saints, confession of faith, and the sacraments administered.
Family Worship and Private Worship then, following the example of Corporate Worship, incorporate most of these elements of Worship.
In Private Worship, the Word is read and “preached” by the individual to his own heart. He prays. And he may sing. Obviously he isn’t fellowshipping with other saints. And he shouldn’t be baptizing himself, or serving himself communion, as these ordinances were given to the church, not the individual.
Similarly, Family Worship will not include baptism or communion and fellowship will be limited to the family members. So what does Family Worship include?
Family Worship includes: bible reading and explanation (more on this later), prayers, singing, and confession of faith or Catechism.
It really is that simple. But how do you do it? What I’m about to describe is how we do it. This is based on my experience with Family Worship as a child, and my own experience leading Family Worship with our own kids.
But first a few tips before you run off and start.
Tip #1 : keep it short
Family Worship doesn’t have to be an hour long. In fact, it shouldn’t be! Now my family growing up, did take an hour or more. But that doesn’t work for us. Men, for the sake of young attention spans, and worn out wives, don’t preach! Just read a passage of scripture, answer a couple questions or offer a short explanation, do one catechism question, sing one song, and offer a short prayer. The whole thing should last no more than 10-15 minutes. Perhaps it gets longer as the children get older, but even then there will be times when it should be kept short.
Tip #2 : keep it simple
Similar to tip #1, keep it simple. Don’t make this overly complicated by trying to do too much. You don’t have to prepare teaching ahead of time. You don’t have to sing harmony parts (though if your family can that’s awesome!). You don’t have to make it harder than it is, which is rather easy.
Tip #3 : keep everyone on the same page
Make sure you have enough bibles, songbooks (more on this later), and catechisms to go around for all those old enough to follow along. And maybe keep a couple extras for when you have guests over. And make sure they are all the same translation, we’ve chosen the NKJV for our family. But the key here is making sure everyone is reading and following along from the same translation, using the same songbook so page numbers match, etc. This will help with #2 above, keeping it simple.
Tip #4 : keep it consistent
I mean this in two ways. First, keep it consistent by using the same basic format every time. Second, keep it consistent by actually doing Family Worship regularly, daily is best. Keep it consistent by doing it at the same time and in the same place each day.
Tip #5 : Dad should lead
This isn’t really a tip so much as a biblical conviction. Dad, you are the head of the family, the family shepherd, or family pastor, so to speak. You should be leading this. Many fathers feel uncomfortable leading family worship for two basic reasons. First, they don’t feel equipped to teach the bible. Second, they don’t think they can sing well enough. I’ll address both these issues below. Neither are big enough obstacles to stop you from leading your family to worship the LORD.
OK, so let’s get down to it. Here’s how it’s done. But remember, this is just how our family does this. The details can be changed to suit your preferences, etc.
When?
When I was a kid, our family did Family Worship in the morning, before breakfast, before light, before anyone in their right mind was awake! My parents woke us up at 4:30 AM. Yes, you read that correctly. Every day for years we rose early to sit bleary-eyed and groggy around the dining room table, dozing off as dad prayed. I don’t recommend this approach, especially when your kids are little! We did this because it lasted an hour. We read 6 chapters a day, discussed, prayed, and sometimes (rarely) sang. Then we would eat breakfast and dad would leave for work at 6:00 AM.
Now, we try to do Family Worship right after dinner. Sometimes it gets pushed back till closer to bedtime, but right after dinner, at the dinner table or in the living room, is ideal. We’re all still awake. We may be tired, but usually not sleepy just then. It works for us. Some other time may work for you. Just figure it out and keep it consistent.
1. Bible
We like to begin with the Word. It doesn’t matter what book of the bible your read. Our default is Proverbs. There is a lot of practical wisdom for living to be found in Proverbs. It doesn’t require a lot of remembering from one night to the next. The ideas are pretty concise (unlike some of Paul’s letters!). And there are 31 chapters, one for each day of the month.
Growing up, my family read a chapter in Proverbs every day for years as part of our family worship. It really doesn’t grown old to read them over and over again. But if you want to change it up, go for it! Just don’t read too much. In fact, when your kids are young, a whole chapter in Proverbs may be too much. Maybe just pick a handful of verses from the day’s chapter and read them. But feel free to read whichever part of the bible appeals to your family right now. In the past we’ve done the Psalms, Genesis, Exodus, Matthew, John, etc. But if you don’t know where to start, I suggest Proverbs.
After we’ve read it, everyone gets to share one verse, or idea, that interested them. Often times the kids are asking what a verse means. Thankfully Proverbs is pretty straightforward and dad can usually explain without much trouble. But if dad is having trouble, here are three ways of dealing with the questions.
First, ask them what they think it means. Often they’ll come up with the right answer! Or mom may chime in and help explain.
Second, it’s ok to consult a commentary! Most study bibles are useless in this regard because they won’t address every verse, much less the difficult one. So I recommend a solid one volume commentary. Matthew Henry is great for this purpose.
And if all else fails, it’s ok to admit you don’t know. You don’t have to have all the answers. Study it later, ask your pastor, or just move on. It’ll be fine. Really, it will.
Mom and Dad should also share a verse. Either pick a verse and ask the kids what they think it means and then explain if they missed it. Or pick a verse and just offer a short one or two sentence explanation, or expression of amazement at how awesome God is. This will help it feel less like the kids are questioning you, and more like everyone is participating.
2. Confession / Catechism
After our time in scripture, we go to the confession or catechism. Right now we’re going through the 1689 Second London Baptist Confession of Faith. We read one paragraph each night and I ask the kids, or mommy, to explain what the paragraph means in their own words. I might also point out an important idea if they miss it in their summary.
Again, it’s ok to consult a commentary on the confession if you need to.
We’ve also used catechisms with our kids. If you’re not familiar, a catechism is a series of questions and answers designed to teach important biblical doctrines. They work great with both kids and adults. You can use the Baptist Catechism (also known as Keach’s Catechism) that accompanies the confession, the Westminster Shorter Catechism (Presbyterian), the Heidelberg Catechism, or A Catechism For Boys and Girls. There are modern catechisms, but I suggest sticking with something that has historically proven to be reliable.
When using a catechism, just do one question each night. Maybe just one question a week, repeating the same one every night in a given week. Repetition is useful for learning these truths.
Another idea would be to use one of the historic creeds of the church, such as the Apostles’ Creed, or the Nicene Creed.
3. Prayer
In an effort to keep things short, and simple, only one of us prays each night. We take turns. When they were little, only Lauren and I would pray. Now that they are older, we let them take a turn as well. Our prayers are prayers of thanksgiving for the day, and for the blessing of Family Worship, for our family and extended family, for our church, and for missions.
I really like this idea, because we pray for them a lot. We pray over them every night at bedtime. We pray at meals and various times throughout the day. So our Family Worship time gives them a chance to pray. And they get to pray for serious things like missionaries, and church, and family, and neighbors. It’s great to set an example for them, but it’s also wise to let them practice under your supervision. Family Worship is a great opportunity for both.
4. Psalm / Hymn
We then close with a Psalm. Yes, we sing the Psalms. Our church sings one Psalm each week. We then sing that Psalm each night Monday – Friday. On Saturday we pick one of our favorites to revisit. Then on Sunday we learn a new one at church and sing it for the remainder of the week again.
Singing the Psalms is a particularly special part of Family Worship. These are songs that king David sang, and all of Israel with him. Jesus and the disciples sang these songs. The sense of continuity with God’s people throughout time is wonderful.
And what’s more, these are songs that God wrote for us to sing!
If you’re not part of a church that sings the Psalms, that’s ok. The Psalter we use is called The Book of Psalms for Worship. It has music in it, so if you have a musician in the house, you could just learn them by the music. If not, most of them are on Youtube and you can learn them that way. Here’s an example.
Dad, you don’t have to be a great singer to lead this. In fact, leading might look like asking mommy to get everyone started on the right note, and letting her voice lead the family to the melody. But make sure the kids see and hear you singing along. This is important. The kids shouldn’t get the idea from watching you that singing in praise to God is something only the women and children do. Men can and should sing robustly to God!
Conclusion
As you can see, Family Worship is more than just a “devotional”. It’s worship. The Word is read aloud and explained, doctrine is taught, the faith is confessed, prayers are offered, and the Word is sung back to God.
And it’s not complicated. You don’t need a seminary degree to pull it off. You need a bible, a copy of a confession or catechism, a psalter, and the desire to lead your family in worship. That’s it!
Now go lead your wife and children to worship the Lord Almighty in your home, and train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
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